The Perfect Present: A Meditation

This year, I was able to find a fabulous gift for my husband for his birthday, something unusual, quirky, fun and particularly well-suited for him. I was filled with joy and delight as I purchased it, hid it from him, wrapped it, and watched him open it. Furthermore, it was an extravagant gift, something with no practical value whatsoever. A gift that served no other purpose than bringing delight and expressing love. When I am able to find such unique and wonderful gifts for someone I love, the whole process of giving is wonderful, joy-filled and fun.

It’s not always like this, of course. Sometimes I can’t find the perfect gift, and end up just giving a sufficient gift. The occasion or time for giving rolls around and I just have to give what I can at that time. Then the gifts I give are a little less exciting and delightful, more mundane. They are not bad gifts, perhaps even quite thoughtful, but in these instances my giving has more of a sense of fulfilling an obligation or a duty, rather than excitement and delight.

The truth is, in a long-term, intimate, and meaningful relationship both kinds of giving are necessary. I shudder to think what the result would be, in the relationships that are most important in my life, if either of these kinds of giving fell by the wayside. This is true whether we are talking about material gifts – “presents” – or whether we are talking about other kinds of giving that happen in a relationship, the small, daily acts of love and care. It is wonderful to have the exuberant joy and delight in giving that comes with finding or doing something really special for someone you love. This adds zest to a relationship and lifts the act of giving out of the realm of obligation or duty. It reminds us that there is something wonderful to be celebrated in the relationship. But over the years, a relationship that weathers the ebbs and flows of everyday life will be sustained by committed, faithful giving at consistent times. At times, giving can feel as mundane as any other obligation. Though not delightfully exciting, this kind of giving is important and worthwhile to nurture a relationship.

This is also true of how we give to God. Giving is an essential part of our relationship with God. Sometimes the gifts we give are tangible, such as our financial gifts to God’s work here on earth through the Church. Sometimes, what we give is less tangible – time, energy, attention. And as in any other meaningful relationship, the experience of giving varies depending on the situation. Sometimes we are filled with joy and delight as we give time, energy, or money to God, and the act of giving, of being involved and connected in that particular way, really makes us feel wonderful. However, there is also the kind of giving that is a commitment through the ebbs and flows of everyday life, the kind of giving that can feel less exciting and thrilling, more mundane. We give in these times, too, fulfilling a commitment to God because that is part of faithful relationship with God. The long-term result of this kind of day-in, day-out giving and commitment is quite extravagant. It is a relationship firmly rooted in deep love and trust, in which we are released from fear and filled with abiding joy and overflowing delight in all that God gives to us, all the ways God loves us.

The Rev. Amanda K. Gott

Grace & St. Peter's Episcopal Church

#meditation #gifts #relationships